Superhuman Social Skills: A Guide to Being Likeable, Winning Friends, and Building Your Social Circle by TynanMy rating: 2 of 5 stars
Jako je bitno kako završava knjiga jer uvijek nakon čitanja pišem recenziju. Možda je prvi dio knjige dobar ali mi u mislima bude kraj koji presudi i samu recenziju u većini slučajeva. Pa onda kad se vratim u citate vidim da sam obilježio neke stvari koje su dobre na početku knjige pa promijenim i ublažim svoj tekst. U ovom slučaju sam trenutno jako razočaran s ovom knjigom. Mogu je iskoristiti ljudi koji su živjeli van civilizacije kako bi razumjeli kako se ponašati među ljudima. Opisuje banalne stvari kako se odnositi prema prijateljima. Očekivao sam više od ove knjige zato što sam mislio da će govoriti o načinima kako ostvarivati kontakte i ostavljati dobre dojmove sa strancima, a ne sa prijateljima. Više sam mislio da će ovo biti slično klasiku od Dale Carnegiea. Kao i u svakoj knjizi za koju pišem recenziju i u ovoj postoje citati vrijedni bilježenje i komentiranja. Nisam još naišao na knjigu gdje baš ništa nisam zabilježio kao vrijedno ali to ne znači da zbog toga moram dati dobru ocjenu.
Prvi dio knjige je puno bolji i tu sam izvukao skoro sve citate. Ideja da moramo imati zanimljive priče koje uvijek dorađujemo mi je puno značila. Čak sam i razmišljao koliko uopće imam priča u svom arsenalu priča i koliko ima prostora da ih učinim zanimljivijim.
"If we have poor social skills, or inconsistent social skills, we generally accept that that's our lot in life." - Ovo je dobro rekao. Često čujemo kako netko kaže "Ja sam takav.", iako je to nešto negativno. Ljudi to prihvate kao da se ništa po tom pitanju ne može učiniti.
"The same person is considered a jerk and a saint to two different people, not because he actually is either of those things, but because of how he treats them." - Ovo sam se uvijek pitao i za sebe kako me ljudi mogu tako različito doživjeti.
"To me, it's the practice of becoming the very best person you can be, maximizing what you have to offer others."
"Whether you're aware of it or not, you are constantly molded and influenced by those closest to you. You'll receive advice from them, absorb their mannerisms and habits, and even subconsciously adopt some of their opinions."
"A friendship is like a bank account. The more you put in, the more you can take out."
"There are four main channels being communicated on at all times: content, meta, emotion, and status." - Ovo je najzanimljivija ideja ove knjige koja je jako korisna. Sadržaj je ono što govorimo ali ga ne možemo razumjeti bez meta znanja (kontekst).
"A master of communication must be able to have two major conversations (content and meta), while maintaining two minor conversations (emotion and status)."
"People you speak with will always be wondering what you really mean."
"For example, let's say you meet someone at a concert. They're excited and having fun, which is exactly why they are at the concert, so they want to maintain that state. If you initiate a serious talk about business, you are grossly miscommunicating on the emotional channel."
"Disagreeing with everything is even worse, but expressing your own opinion in a clear and appropriate way conveys that you have the ability to think for yourself, even in the presence of strong outside influence. You will be given respect for doing this."
"there's a single skill I can recommend that you spend time on, it's the art of telling a story. It provides you with a way to entertain your friends, control the mood of an interaction, and efficiently convey who you are."
"When telling a story, you should have three primary phases in order: the setup, the buildup, and the payoff."
"The key is to learn how to tell a good story so that more of the things that occur in your life can be told in an interesting manner."
"On the other hand, you should never tell stories that make your friends look bad. It's fine to expose their quirks, but if they messed something up, you'd never want to talk about that, even if it was a funny story."
"Your goals in a conversation are to make sure that the other person enjoys themselves, to allow them to learn about you, and for you to learn about them. By allowing them to tell a story that's not all that interesting, you are letting them enjoy themselves, and you're also learning about them, even if it's in a tedious format."
"A good exercise is to think about what it might be like to be your friend. What would that feel like? What would the good parts of that friendship be? What would the bad parts be? What could you do to make that experience better for the other person?"
"You want to be the Queen of England. You want to be the person who any of your friends can introduce to anyone they know and be sure that it will make them look good."
"Second, some of the most interesting people you'll meet are also the busiest. You don't become interesting by being idle."
"Traveling is a great way to make yourself more interesting, if you feel like being interesting is something you need to work on."
"It puts you in enough unusual situations that you build a bank of stories and experiences, and it gives you perspective you wouldn't have otherwise gotten."
"I remember once we were talking about my siblings, and she made an offhand comment that they were potentially the most important relationships in my life. After all, they were the people I'd know for the longest and have the most context with."
"Three undervalued positive attributes are doing what you say, being honest, and being on time."
"John Gottman, a researcher at the University of Washington, studies couples to figure out what causes divorce. The biggest factor is contempt, which sounds a lot like the opposite of appreciation."
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